Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Last Night a DJ Saved My Life

[On the two week (plus a few days) anniversary, I finally got my Hollertronix Ukie Club recap finished. It took awhile to get the pictures, but the writing took place in the immediate aftermath. I know that y'all have been waiting, so enjoy!]

Admission: $10
Cabs: $20
Beer: $4 per bottle (unknown quantity consumed)
Another sweaty, drunken Hollertronix at the Ukie: Priceless


I have finally recovered from Saturday night, so I will try to write about the fun that was had by all. For those that don't know, Saturday was the latest installment of the greatest party anywhere, Hollertronix at the Ukranian American Citizen Association (U.A.C.A.) on 8th and Poplar in North Philly. The Hollertronix DJs, a.k.a. Diplo and Low Budget, have taken over the country and airwaves, but this is where it all began. It is unlike any other event I have been to anywhere, a time for all sorts of different people and scenes to come together for dancing, great music and debauchery.

I won't bore you with the details of my night, as they are quite inconsequential. I basically spent the beginning of the night drinking and chatting, and spent the second half of the night on the dancefloor, moshing, grinding, head-nodding and doing my own unclassifiable dance moves to the finest the Durrrty South, Baltimore, Jamaica, Manchester, wherever the hell Soft Cell came from, and Philly have to offer. Most of these activities are fueled by a Ukranian beer, Obolon, that is both delicious and potent.

I have been going to these since around when they started 2+ years ago, and in all that time, I have never ended up in anyone's photos that were posted on the 'net, not even in the background. All I wanted was to make it into a shot in one of the Hollertronix photo albums on Oxy Cottontail's site (essential for my New Yorkers), or on some random blog. Something, anything. But, no matter how fucked up I got, or how much I dropped it like it was hot on the dance floor, nothing.

So, much to my surprise, I followed a link to Them Finest's recap of his weekend in Philly for Hollertronix. And lo and behold, who is this handsome young man who has some sort of sweating disorder? That's right, your hero, Pound for Pound.

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A few thoughts on these pictures:

1) Anyone who has ever been out with me to hear a DJ spin has seen me point incessantly at the DJ booth when a particularly great song comes on. Unfortunately, for Diplo and Low Budget, they play alot of these. There I am in the first one, doing exactly this, and that put a smile on my face. [In the second one, I appear to be rubbing my hands together on some Lady Macbeth shit. Whatever.]

2) For those that doubt I dance or can dance, now you know.

3) For those that doubt girls like me or will dance with me, now you know.

4) For those that think I don't like girls, now you know. (Disregard the fact that I went back with a gay friend, and bought him a soft pretzel at WaWa in some sort of sugar daddy moment.)

5) The gentleman in the Escobar jersey in front of me is none other than the world-famous blogger Nick "Catchdubs". Check out his site and see what a good one looks like.

6. For all the single ladies out there, I want you to notice the attention that I am giving my dance partner. My eyes are only on her, my hands are at a respectful level, and my pelvis is not trying any funny business. R-E-S-P-E-C-T? I have found out what it means, and employ those lessons on the dancefloor and in life. Holla. A resume and transcript will be provided upon request.

7. I am going to ask that everyone pretend that the look of ecstasy on the girl's face is a result of her dancing with me, and not caused by Low B and Diplo. Please allow this misconception to stand, as I need something to hold onto in the still of the night. I thank you for your understanding and "ignorance".

8. Fellas, get out and dance. No more standin' on the wall like you was Poindexter. Fun shit is going on down there, and you need to get in the game to know what exactly. Don't be scurred.

9. Yes, I do sweat alot, but only because it is hard g-ddamn work looking this good. So deal with it, mang.

Thanks again to those old friends and new friends who came out. Thanks to those who have done a better job of chronicling the night. Most of all, thanks to Low Budget, Diplo and Lix for making the night what it is.

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