Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Be My Valentine?

I have made it through Valentine's Day, and, best of all, without once breaking down in tears to the guy driving the bus, or screaming at a cute couple walking down Spruce Street, or writing a letter to Natalie Portman in crayon explaining why we are perfect for each other.

Quite honestly, it was a shitty day. It rained non-stop, as Mother Nature decided to make that Travis song more understandable. Beyond that, there is nothing more pathetic than being one of the people at the gym on this night, as one gets to wallow in both loneliness and body dysmorphia. The radio only plays songs about love and happiness, the news focuses on great date places, and TV digs up its romantic episodes (even the Muslim women on 24 seemed kinda sweet when she talked about her support for the destruction of the U.S.)

Adding insult to injury I caught this news item yesterday. As you see, for every educated working guy, there are 1.25 educated women in the city. This is the fourth best town to be an educated guy. I mean, what the fuck? Am I leper? Am I that cold and distant (don't answer that one)? Am I going to the wrong places? Wearing the wrong things? Saying the wrong things? Do I need to buy you an expensive white leather jacket to replace the one your mother had, which someone spilled red wine on at a party you weren't supposed to throw, instead of buying the telescope with the money I earned mowing lawns? What is it?

I mean, homeboy has his own blog. What more do you ladies want? Unless, you're trying to tell me that a blog doesn't get you women? I mean, what could be more sexy than a guy sitting in his apartment writing pretentious posts about obscure things in order to feel smart and cool? What, looks, intelligence, money, sense of humor? I don't think so, either.

Seeing the glass as half-full, those numbers proves that the odds are in my favor. Eventually, that gap will wear down the women of Philadelphia, and, like a vulture, I will be there. After many nights of drinking, fruitless searches, bad dates, and E-A-G-L-E-S chants, the educated women of Philly will offer little resistance. You have been warned.

Seriously though, while it was not been the greatest day, it was not been the worst, either. I had a great weekend, spent with friends who I care about deeply, heard Low Budget spin the music I love, spent time reading and listening to the music that makes life worth living, and walked around the city that will always be my first love. Not too bad. I hope that everyone had a great Valentine's Day, and were able to spend some time with loved ones.


Brendan Dugan said...

It sure seemed like Low Budget was your Valentine seeing how you were skipping down Spring Garden after he gave you a free CD at Silk City...

theresa said...

a) definitely skipping.
b) you calling me pathetic, "homeboy"? watch your back.
c) the jacket was suede.

Jack said...

1) Homeboy doesn't skip. I may have been walking more lightly than normal, but that was probably because I didn't want to scuff my dope kicks. Don't be jealous, Brendan and Theresa, as I will let you two listen to the CD at some point.

2) Pathetic is a state of mind, right? Plus, T, you saw who was there that night, as there were lots of other hot girls at Lifesport.

3) The jacket was suede, and I am stood corrected. The text has been updated. Thank you.