Monday, April 11, 2005

A Message to Philadelphia Sports Fans

Having read this, I felt the need to speak to the fans (and their enablers in the media)that booed throughout the opening series of the Philadelphia Philies' season. My message is brief: Get a fucking life. Is your life so meaningless and pathetic that you need to ruin a beautiful day for everyone? So pathetic that you need to get any attention at all, even as an annoying loser?

Unfortunately, this is not some isolated incident, but rather a recurring theme here. The city has become defined by obnoxious sports fans, and these same fans revel in their infamy. You know the type. The ones who booed Donovan McNabb on Draft Day. The losers who harass women in the Eagles' parking lots. The 'tough' guys fighting in the stands at games. The trash who call into WIP all day and all night to complain about how pathetic (insert some team or person) is/are. The ones who break into "E-A-G-L-E-S" cheers at bars.

They know nothing about sports, evidenced by booing the team in the third game of a 162-game season (!!!). They are fair-weather fans, turning at the first sign of trouble. They bask in their masculinity, but spend much of their time with only men (No homo?). They stress their toughness and ability to intimidate other teams' fans, but spend most of their wallowing in misery and self-pity likke bitches. Read Frank Fitzpatrick's response, as perhaps his sarcasm can get through your anger, self-pity and drunkeness to show you what idiots you are.

Here are a few suggestions for those who are so overcome with rage that the Phillies lost two of their first three games. 1) Don't watch or attend any games. Spend time with your wives, girlfriends, friends, family. 2) Watch the games for the entertainment and fun intended. Since you consider yourselves such sports fans, it should not be difficult to enjoy the fucking sport, right? 3) Take all of that anger over losses and the end of Y100, and put it into something worthwhile. Get involved, and address some of the problems and injustices in the actual, everyday world.

They should be an embarrassment to all of the great fans who have hope and optimism every year, in spite of the losses and disappointments. The ones who cheer great performances, who know the nuances of the game, and who know that being a tough sports town only applies to those who don't hustle, or work hard or play for the team. The ones who cheer fighters on at the Blue Horizon in meaningless fights, who loved the Broad Street Bullies like family, and who love Allen Iverson all the more because of his foibles. Take back your city and your sports teams.

While this might seem like a meaningless topic, it does have an underlying theme that I have made one of the foci of this blog. Tom Ferrick wrote about the season opener, and had this to say about a guy who screamed at Jim Thome late in the game:

He must have lapsed back into a Philadelphia state of mind: consigned to expecting the worst, with periodic outbreaks of anguish and despair.

Sorry, Tom, but this is not my state of mind. This is not the state of mind of the people investing their money and time to develop and build the city up, the ones putting on art shows or concerts, the ones opening their own stores or businesses, the ones who stayed while cowards ran to the 'eden' of the suburbs. I am tired of hearing this same old shit about the city, and how the worst will always happen here. I am tired of hearing all of the negativity and hate. For those who feel this way, take my earlier advice. Shut the fuck up, move away, fade away, die, whatever it takes. You are the past, and you are reading the future.


theresa said...

wait, what's wrong with the EAGLES chants in bars? is it just that the chanters are usually the same neanderthals who are committing the other offenses? because it seems to me that the chanting--though a tiny bit annoying after the first 78 times--is a positive expression of support. perhaps i'm being overly defensive, since i've gotten sucked into one or two said chants...

Jack said...

Sorry for not being clearer. There is nothing wrong with the EAGLES chant, as it is a great form of positive support. I was just trying to call out the group of guys who seem to always lead the cheer, no matter its appropriateness. I was just trying to play off of the idea of the vocal minority representing all fans, but am not a good enough writer do so.

Markler said...

I am actively anti-Eagles chant!

Unlike most straight American men, I dislike pro football. Do not be astonished. There are so many very good reasons to dislike it.

A partial list:

*The fans don't know the rules and are generally ignorant of basic strategy

*The announcers too-often don't know the rules

*The REFEREES too-often don't know the rules (occasionally making game/playoff-blowing calls)

*Too many injuries (sorry about that spinal cord, but nice THUMBS UP attitude!)

*Too much macho BS

*But most of all -- the hype to action ratio is way out of control for 48 hours of play PER YEAR!

Now, there is nothing wrong with being a football fan, to each his/her own. But baseball is my game, a thinking person's game, a game diametrically opposed to football in every conceivable way. The ballpark is my place of contemplation and reflection.

And this is why I hate the Eagles chant.

When I go to a Phillies game and the Phillies do something wrong, some collection of IDIOTS has to start the Eagles chant -- not in a friendly way, but in a "the EAGLES are our true love, we've given up on the Phillies" kind of way.

As if the Birds have ever won anything. As if the Eagles are not the 21st century Buffalo Bills. As if the Eagles have ever actually flown "on the road to victory" as their idiotic song goes. As if you can fly on a road!

After years of this, I officially declared my non-fanship of the Eagles -- despite rooting for them as a kid, despite loving McNabb while at Syracuse, our alma mater, despite passionate allegiances of family and friends.

In short, because idiot Eagles fans interfere with my Phillies games, my dislike for football has grown into a passionate distaste for the the Eagles, their fans, and the invent-a-color "midnight green."

In this regard, and I am sure there are other die-hard Phillies fans who agree with me, the past four football postseasons have left me smiling.